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from then to now.

It’s crazy how fast the time goes by, before you know about it you’ve been settled in a place for months, with a whole new outlook on your life. And at times I still wonder what the heck you would isolate yourself from the people you love and need for. But it’s definitely the love of the land, and the love of the life that makes it all worth it in the end.

Am I certain that this life is for me? Hell no! But as I write this, after a long weekend away, with friends, I remember why I am here. And the love that I now have for Outback Queensland.

Life on a station isn’t always what you sign up for. There’s long days and weeks, extreme heat, and a hell of a lot of manual labour. It is astounding to think that you would choose this life, but so many people do, ie S and myself. My role on station is as the “Governess”, the tutor, for the kids, in grade 2, 4 and 6. My role extends much further than this. I have learnt that as their Govie, I am also another role model, mentor, and influencer in these young lives. The kids live 400km from their school, and being their educator is so much more than purely teaching them. I have also basically become another member of their family, a friend,  someone who is at home in a complete strangers house. Although all of this is true, I still have days in which I struggle, for no apparent reason at all. I have cried through my lunch break, and even sought peace and solace in our schoolroom toilet.  I don’t know how I get through some days, but at the end of my work day, when each of the kids gives me that hug that I needed, or comes to visit me in the last hours of daylight to tell me something that seems so minute, I remember why I am doing this all, and that always brings me comfort.

I have done way more than I ever though I would do in my job as “Governess” and I don’t know if it is because our station isn’t fortunate enough to be fully staffed at the moment, or that I get to go out on weekends with S on lick and water runs. These are my favourite type of things to do, get out and see the country and the cattle. Making my experience here a little more worth while.

The first few months on station were literally hell! I had no idea what I was doing, or how I could live so isolated. And the worst part of all is that you never leave work. You live with the people you work with, and never really leave that work housing complex. You become almost trapped in a world that you don’t really know, like or even understand. And somehow it all begins to develop into something entirely new and wonderful. In the last month our relationship with our boss, and the family, has developed from what it used to be. And in the most positive way too.  It is the weirdest thing I have ever experienced, but you have to earn your place in the family you live and work for. You have to prove to them that you are worth their love, and within that you become another member of their family. But honestly, this wasn’t something that I expected to have to deal with. And it is hard.

But I am so so lucky to have been able to enjoy being in an area that is very socially connected, and there is always something to do each weekend. I am also super lucky to have met some incredible friends, who also love being social, maybe a little too much sometimes! But in all honesty, I wouldn’t be able to get through the hard days, let alone function as a normal human being, without their continual support. It is incredible how welcomed I have been into this community, especially from other Govies in the area. And I am more than certain that these girls are one of the many reasons that I have lasted so long on our station. The acceptance and love that we have been given is incredible. And to think that after all this time, I have a new home, and even a new family. I believe that it is so important to have those kind of people surrounding you. And in all these new aspects of my life, I had become a part of a new family, made up of friends, new work mates and even our own little family.

And sometimes the worst part about this life, especially for me, is that I am a chronic overthinker. I constantly over analyse my entire life, and the decisions I’ve made. But for me now, I know that there is no place I would rather be. My life is amazing, and I am growing into someone that I never thought I would be. I can’t imagine life on any other station, with any other group of people.

and so it begins.

What changes when you move 3000kms away from your family, friends and home?

Absolutely nothing!

The idea of moving away from a life you have already set up may seem completely ridiculous to some people, but we do things a little differently around here. A farm, 2 houses, the beginning of a beautiful beef herd, a small pig breeding operation, established jobs, 2 years of marriage and even plans to have children in the near future. We made the decision to actively seek work on a station in Northern Australia.

We told our families, some were happy, others couldn’t understand the dreams we had for the future. It was a hard road trying to find a place that would take on a first year ringer, and his wife, who has basically zero experience in cattle work on a scale any larger than a 140 cow dairy herd. The applications were never ending. Queensland seemed like our best bet. And I’ll always remember the night, in December, that we were both offered jobs at a station 150km north of Julia Creek, a first year Ringer, and a Governess. A dream that S had had his whole life was now about to come true. What had we done!?

But the next few months were filled with preparations to our house as a rental, and packing up the entire home. And on a cold night in early March we said goodbye to our families. And as we drove out the double gates, we held each other’s hands, and cried together, knowing that we were leaving for at least a year, not entirely sure that the decision we had made to leave was the right one. And we drove on for 3 days, to our new home.

Along the way I have learnt that despite the physical distance, it does not make the heart grow fonder. I don’t miss my home as much as I thought I would and sometimes it appears those you leave behind don’t always miss you as much as you would like them to. But in saying that is always so nice to hear from them one way or another.

 

 

Life on a station is more than I ever thought it could be. I think I had an idea of what I would in for, but never truly understanding just how much I would have to give of myself.

I have learnt how to live alone, and truly alone, more than 150km from the nearest town, and at least 70km from a neighbour, who I am not even remotely familiar with. I have spent weeks separated from S, crying in the night because I have been stuck in a place that I really hadn’t had the chance to settle into yet. Something that I have never experienced before, on such an extreme level, is the complete isolation.

I have learnt what it means to be a teacher, friend and mentor to young children, who only see their friends, extended family and neighbours once in a while. How to be there for them when they are struggling and it is all too tough. This in itself is something I am comfortable with, as I have spent quite a bit of time with children. However, this is like nothing I have experienced. These little people need you more than you know. They require your friendship and love just as equally as they need your guidance as their governess.

I have also learnt how to survive on my own, without being constantly connected and surrounded by family and friends. I have become a part of a new family, and enjoy my role within that. Where things lack in that department, I know I will always have S, but also some wonderful new friends, who have truly welcomed me into their lives with nothing but kindness and love.

Along with all the hard experiences, in my short three months here, I have also learnt what it means to have the strength and will power to do something that so many believed was absolutely crazy! I have found new ways to cope with my fears and anxieties of living on a remote property. My determination to be more than just a wife for the rest of my life is only growing stronger, as I am searching for the right career path for myself. Alongside all of that, I have been welcomed into a community, and a family, with open arms, and have met so many new people, while making some incredible friends along the way.

But the one thing I have learnt is that nothing changes when you leave a place. Life carries on as it always did. Families fight. There is tension in households. People still don’t call. There are new babies, birthdays, engagements and weddings. And in all this, you have to make a conscious choice what you can be there for and what you will have to miss out on. People can’t be angry at you for realizing a dream, and living that dream. The fact of the matter is, at the end of the day, it really is YOUR life. And these are YOUR choices and mistakes to make.

my story.

I am a twenty-four year old Victorian gal, who studied History at La Trobe University for 4 years, completing my honours year in 2017.

I married my now husband, in 2017, and we have been together since I was 18.

We made the crazy decision to leave our life behind in south-west
Victoria to work in outback Queensland.

This is my open diary.

 

L xo